Work and life suck right now and I don't have a lot of free time, but have this sorta-fic inspired by the following (slightly altered to protect the innocent) snippet from an IM conversation about Green Lanterns naming their children:

Duskdog: But I can't see Guy giving his kids one of those trendy names. He'd pick something solid and manly. Bonus points if it's sorta-kinda Scandinavian, because Tora's still the heir to her kingdom's throne and all, and so their kids would be too. So she'd have to pick something that sounds good to her people, too.
Fizzlet: Ice Kingdom Priest: And I give you -- KING ZACHARY!
Duskdog: And like, the Ice Kingdom people can't even pronounce it right. So luckily, there's lots of good solid G-names that could have feasibly been integrated into the culture of the Ice People before they went all hermity up in their mountains. Gunnar, Garth, Gustav, etc.
Fizzlet: GUS GARDNER!
Duskdog: YES. Only his middle name is Rockford, and Guy calls him Rocky. Except when he's doing something bad, in which case Guy can yell (in his best, most redneck Baltimore accent): "GUS ROCKFERD, SIT YER ASS DOWN!"
Fizzlet: Overheard in Wal-Mart?
Duskdog: He's the fourth kid of five. After Gunnar, Garth, and Griffin. But before Peppermint Baby Grady.
Fizzlet: ...You've thought about this way too much, haven't you?
Duskdog: Possibly?

 

I miss the way they used to answer the letters in the old Guy Gardner comic's letters column as if they were Guy. There should totally be a Guy Gardner advice column. Maybe I'll do one.